memories hurt

I truly wish there was a way to just permanently forget things. As much as mistakes help you to grow they also take away things that we don't want them to. I mean how is being an emotional wreck for weeks helpful to anyone? sad thing is that not many people even want to see it, and those that do just want you to see past it and move on. IF only moving on were as easy As writing one poem or crying one night. But how is any of that going to help? it really doesn't. The only cure is time, always time. I hate time. Time makes things too slow or too fast or not even at all. Time takes away people you love and offers your things you can not believe. Unbelievable things normally are just that, not true. They are the things that leave you the most broken in the end. That is a lesson so not worth learning on your own, but we all do. So I'm moving forward as I'm dragged backwards so i move no where. I stay stagnant, living in a still pool. i miss the ripples of life. If only we didn't dream i would have been safe from remembering. Vivid dreams are worth a million words, and even more feelings. I wish i could just forget all of those. They have little comfort for me and even less respect for my sanity(though that was lost years ago). For being alive of only 2 decades i feel old. The older i get the heavier the world feels and the more my uniqueness and happiness are being dragged down. I need to find a way to fell happy again that is just me. Newest goal is to find eternal happiness within myself and smile everyday i can.