~Say Goodbye~

Say Goodbye

say goodbye and goodnite
wish me sweet soft dreams
while i lay awake dying slowly

gone is the innocense of the child
broken is the soul contained within
caress my soft body while my rough heart goes dim

say goodbye and goodnite
whisper the words you long to say
while I sit staring far away to the past

gone is the sweet deminar of the girl
broken is the heart held together by gossmer thread
kiss my rose colored lips that are set like stone

say goodbye adn goodnite
whisling the tune to a lulling lullaby
while i walk away from this broken body laying at your side

~A Happy Face~

Surrounded by people
feeling all alone
no one can see me
why wont this feeling go away
why wont this feeling go away

Im happy oh yea happy
ha so happy i could wanna live

Smiling my fake smile
covering up my little flaws
no one knows me
they cant know me
oh they cant ever know me

Im happy oh yea happy
ha so happy i could wanna live


Walking through the crowds
i pass by with out lookin
lost in myself again
wont someone try to see me
why wont they see me

Im happy oh yea happy
ha so happy i could wanna live

Fake laughs belted out loud
making up for my lack of happiness
lying about all of it
oh lying abot all of this

Im happy oh yea happy
ha so happy i could wanna live

Surrounded by people, oh
smiling that fake smile i have, yea
laughing the loudest so i dont look so damn sad
feelin al alone not allowing anyone through these barriers

Cuz Im not that damn happy
oh no im so very sad ha so damn sad
ehy wont they try to break me down
cant thy see im faking tis happiness

Growing up

No one ever tells you how much growing up can really hurt... you lose friends, get cuts and bruises, even have your heart broken. Yet through all of that you grow... you get new friends, ur bruises adn cuts heal some with scars some without and that broken heart mends to love again another day... i think growing up hurts a bit less though when you live life while your gorwing because fighting the growth hurts more than just accepting it...
THINGS I NEED TO DO:
1) move on from high school
2) learn how to flirt properly
3) be myself with new people
4) quit my job and stand up fro myself to my boss
5) not listen to waht others say so much
6) try to date again
7) go dancing and just let the music and my partner move me
8) rent a surfboard for a day and spend it surfing
9) NEVER GIVE UP ON SCHOOL
10)ACCEPT LIFE AND ALL THATS THROWN AT ME

the ten things that are most important for me to acheive in my life and hopefully soon.
<3's

~the Void~

~ The Void~
Sitting in a world full of people
they say they all know me
but do they hear the pleas i cry
the silent begging of my endless tries

laying in a room silent as death
silent tears trailing down my cheeks
my hushed sobbing pulling me further
Further into the abyss of hidden emotions

Watching in a lecture covered in lies
People looking up from notes on a page
My scratchy notes telling no more stories
Im ready for the end to come and take me

Waiting begging pleading for a cure
The endless things floating in my head
Death, life, family, friends, school, life
Where has it all gone

Nothing, a void, deserted as the moon
My soul ripped, heart bleeding, mind shattered
Smoothed over like boulders in a river, turned to sand
Once strong and solid now in a million pieces and weak