talking till im tired

I should sleep, but i cant or maybe its wont. I'm not sure of why i cant sleep. I'm excited for My trip, maybe that's whats keeping me up. I miss Cole already and wish we would have had more time just hanging out. I wish he would just not be so shy, but at the same time i like that shyness. Its all so confusing. I wish he was online right now. I really do have allot to say to him without fear that I'll run into him when i leave my room an turn bright red. He hugged me for the first time on Weds. It was kinda stiff an stuff but i think we were both a bit awkward, which is sad. He gave me the most awesome gift though! He got my Montey Python and the holy grail ^_^ way awesome and sweet in the sense that we had talked about it and i had said that i had a need to watch it eventually and he actually listened, that's something new in my life. I wonder if when we stopped hugging i was bright red... i felt like i was =( i hope not because weal i blush to much. My minds being way complicated. I don't know why its doing that too. I woner what I'm supposed to consider him. I mean were not like BF/GF really... i guess its just complicated, hmmm, that's sounds about right complicated is probably the best word for my life and situations and all that. I got a C in Marine Geology. It maes me sad that i couldn't get a better grade. Maybe if someone would have been a bit More helpful or there had been a bit more understating about my Uncles death and me missing classes for it. But the what ifs are over know considering that i got the C in the class. I'm happy i passed i just, whatever . I want to know my math grade and world societies grade.I hate waiting for grades its nerve racking! I'm excited for my trip, i think already said this. I'm going to Puerto Vallarta for 7 days. I get to sit on a beach int he sun and trun tan and relax and do nothing. I don't get to be yelled at to clean my room, do chores, wake up early if i don't want to, feel pressured to be perfect. Maybe that's why i feel so great around Cole he has no expectations of me that he has made known at least. i want to go walk the beach right now and clear my head but A) Cole i like 2 hrs away B) Im at home and thst not kool with my parents (the whole taking off at midnight) C)its raining.... im tired now im gonan go count sheep till i sleep