...

I asked God the other day why he didnt want me to love again... i think i know his answer now... i can love again cuz i still love... or maybe he feels i need to let go of that old love still.... i dont know... either im so terrified to love him again that i wont admit that i might (though i am here) or im just reaching out for love where i can get it and this is just him playing with my emotions and trying to get what he wants...
For someone that i cant love though hes everything that i cold ever really ask for... but so is my other guy.. goodness i hate this! He had to go and bring up all those old emotions didnt gah im sleeing now