~Thunder~

~Thunder~
with the thunder comes a new revalation
where your eyes could not hold mine
when your hand no longer reaches to me
how your smile refuses to reach your eyes
with excuses you break this crumbling foundation
push me away like the fly on the lemonade
going cold after acting like my insulator
with thunder come the truth

~Unseen Path~

I'm traveling in a haze
A void of grayness
Uneasy I travel this road
Pulling between it all
An unseen fight raging
Competing for focus
The darkness calling
With comfort of routine
While a light fights subtly
Pulsing ever stronger
Leaving this grey void
I'm travel a road unseen

~Taste of Salt~

~Taste of Salt~
A constant reminder of the sea
Eyes reminiscent of sea glass
So smooth is your touch like water
Every taste of your skin holds me
Salty like the waters I'm so enamored with
Making my emotions calm in your presence

A constant reminder of my oasis
Embracing me and making me feel fragile
Consoling with strong yet bubbling tones
Enfolding me in my entirety
The reminder I'm a grain of sand in this life
While making me fall more and more for your beauty

~Cry for Help~

come save me from this drownding
this falling through the void
so much to take in and not enough time

drownding in my emotions
fading away once again
save me from my inner self

so blank of thought and life
left on my own to fade away
falling faster through the void

come save me from the inevitable
my own thoughts eating me alive
save me before i fade away to nothing

~Sweet Valentine~

~Sweet Valentine~
your every heartbeat goes with mine
laying here on the floor talking
your arms around me holding me
the soft smell of you enticing me
how with every gentle caress
a shock is sent through my body
I'd respond in kind to your soft kisses
so sinful its like tasting heaven
velvet touches and strong embraces
how i wish this night has never ended

~Breath~

your heart is beating so fast
the pulse in your neck so strong
beating so hard as your breath shortens
beating out a staccato matching mine
the music of our hearts mixing
as one rises the other falls perfectly in tune

soft touches trying to memorize every curve
lingering at times lavishing me with care
the taste of salt from your skin lingers
breath hitching as your fingertips touch mine
breathing to an unknown rhythm of a bass
lost to the sinful taste of each other
as we rise and fall like the waves of the sea

~Wrapped up in you~

~wrapped up in you~
wrapped up in you intensely staring
seeing within your soul to your depths
bodies moving as one in the passion
as the moments move on kisses linger
touches ached to be felt once again
so wrapped up in you I'm going insane

~Breaking the cycle~

~Breaking the cycle~
so sick of this cycle
wanting to break out
feeling so trapped
lost to too many emotions
i feel the whole of it
i want to comfort
but my words fail me
i can say sorry again
but that wont change things
the cycle is never ending
never to be broken
damn by a god of vengeance
to live and die
be born only to decompose
I'm always here for you
as long as you need me
ill linger at the edges
supporting you today
catching you tomorrow
please don't fall down
let the pieces so recently
drawn together to keep
lets break this cycle
don't fall apart on me
stay as solid as diamonds
loving like today is your last
lets break this Divine cycle

~Dancing with You~

~Dancing with You~
i want to dance with your laughter
as it sparkles around me
twisting paths unseen in my mind

your understanding so intriguing
leaving me wondering what it is
your thinking when you look at me

i want to dance with you in the night
as we laugh at the twinkling of the stars
twirling along paths only we see

your hands supporting my every move
our bodies moving in perfect tandem
knowing your minds thoughts of us

i want to never stop seeing your smile
sweet as the soul that gives it birth
laying those lips to min so softly

your thoughts blending perfectly with mine
pulling us in new directions freely
following no set path but being free as one

~Still Crying~

~Still Crying~
repeatedly they tell me the pain will fade like the fog in morning
promising i'd not cry has only left me with wet tear tracks at your name
talking of you passing causing a renewed sense of defeat
unable to condem your early passing but saying it was a blessing
the blessing that is still breaking my heart to remember
heartbreak for a lover is easier than this in so many ways
reminders of your life following me pushing me onward
my promises of never giving up pulling new ambitious out of me
i loved you for everything you were Uncle, Father, Brother,Son

~Your Ghost~

~Your Ghost~
i hide little from you I hold nothing back
when asked i respond with truth leaking from my lips
i do not give my secrets freely i give them when they're needed
you hold back so much its seems that your burdened
your past either haunting you or insecurities overwhelming
when asked will you respond in kind to my truths
if i kissed your cheek would you turn away from me
i agreed to something false only to feel its truth
can you hold me tight an whisper words so soft
calling my name in you sleep is it me or a figment of passing
I've become your nightly ghost sharing in your fears
transgressions moving forward that we can not stop now
kiss my lips this night and taste of me the truths i tell
taste the truth of my pain longing and patients for you
run your hands along the scars of those before you
heal them or break open the hurts they've left me with
i am your ghost of the night haunting your dreams
i will hide little from you once asked for the truth

~spinning~

~spinning~
the spinning has been slowing
allowing our two bodies closer
still longing to taste your kiss
doing the tango to unheard music
we move closer barely touching
ghosting each others feelings
arms snaking around my waist
holding me closer than before
the soft smell of you skin
still unknown is the ending
as the spinning begins to slow

~Broken~

~broeken~
the demands of life are causing me failures
breaking my body with grueling works
beating down my soul till it is thread-bare
with every heart beat a new pain is reviled
wasting away as food no longer offers nourishment
wanting little but love and life in retrospect

~Death passing~

~death passing~
Yet another death passes thrugh my life
not close to my heart but close one who is
the pain she must feel at the horrid loss
i want to help her not feel torn up inside
but how can i when i still am torn to bits
wanting to give her support in any fashion
unwilling to let the tears for her life fall
the life she had riped from her too soon
so unfair to the worst degree
rising the voices of amazing grace
singing the emotions of the torn soul
leading our greiveing lifes forward
encompassing her to keep her sane
one of my dearest friends is being broken
and i can no longer fix her sorrows for they are also mine

rambling

the boy holds me solidly than i could have thought. were so simialr but so diferent it so nice to have someon to talk to about everything!god and hes such a sweet person!! how the did i get so damn lucky!well now i sleep

~untitled~

how will we grow together
drowning in so many ways
helping eachother float
encouraging the under loved

can we make the promises
hold to that standards set
going forth into this world
destined to be torn apart

holding tight to you internally
balanced is the outcome
centered in ways unknown
quiet of mind an soul

not hiding these pretenses
honesty formost in trust
smiles just for u and me
questions similairly placed

rambling

im sittng here at 8till midnight thinking of everything and yet nothing at all. I want to call the boy that has been in my thoughts all day because my mind is soo much more still while im with him. Then i dont want to be with him at all because of the things i always think adn pretend to do but dont. I am a coward in every sense of the word. I rather live in the world of my mind were things are so much more simplictic but alas im unable to fall into that rabbits hole. Im really cold again, it was sucha beautiful day and i was so warm while i layed in the sun after i had lunch(the only meal today :-/)while i shuffled cards thinking. i want to walk the beach with him agan and again till every thought ive ever conceived is brought to the surface and put on displace for him to know and talk of. His sincerity is awe inspiring. I woder if he is just to innocent to even know my whole mind. maybe the world is. its best to keep ones mind to oneself when you ahve no clue were it is the thoughts you think surface from. I want to write more because i feel lighter when i have written but then again my heart is my sleeve if you look close enough. Im broke, i woder if i ahve always been this way. i always want the impossible in life love career mind. who knows maybe those high goals will one day be fullfiled. i dont sleep well most nights now, i wonder what it is about ym dreams that wakes me so that i lay for hours not thinking just taking in the quiet of the early morning. one of these days i need to wach that sunrise and find my peace with it, just because it brings another day does not make it the enemy, more so it makes it a timless companion and confidant. long days should conclude with tired minds, i tihnk my mind just speeds up till i collapse into bed to wake hours later having not felt sleep in any way. ::sigh:: imust try to sleep now, being awake for 20 hrs is too much for any one soul in this horrid life

~thoughts~

~thoughts~
so little thoughts
just imagining you
the sweet smile
how you laugh
i noticed you
before i even knew

so little thoughts
images flashing by
windy beaches
badly lite pubs
comofrting living rooms
if only youd come here

so little thoughts
breaking every nerve
we're just here
left to deal
come here wont you
i need you with me

Ruptured Rhapsody

Ruptured Rhapsody
a vert thought provokeing blog on childhood an life

~Slipping~

~slipping~
i feel you slip away even as i see you so close
holding your close is just a dream i hold
telling myself i can one day stand beside you
you could do so much better than me
yet i hold on faithfully as you slip away
not knowing where this is going at all
spiralling out of control in so many ways
i feel you slipping from my grasp
even though we've barely ever touched
what can i do to keep you
you, who has never been mine
i want you for you even though your not mine