~waiting~

i lay sleepless
breath in breath out
your face haunting me
signing into the darkness
i watch the ceiling
eyes open eyes closed
imagining your hugging me close
wrapping my arms to my chest to stay warm
i sit talking to you
laughining eyes twinkling
can you see me there
wanting to be yours and only yours
i lay sleepless
while you sleep above me
peaceful in your dreams
oblivious to my waiting
breath in and open your eyes to me

bitter

i am a bitter sweet person tis a sad true to deal with

~longing~

~longing~
your hands know my body
every curve and dip
with one touch
you elicit more feeling
than anyone ive known

your lips crush mine
in a memorising dance
of soft tenderness
i ache for more everytime

everytime you draw away from me
ur spell if renewed upon m heart
i wnt ot scream for this loning neead
for you to touach me and i you

i want you to mine and i yours
no, i an desepart for that concetion
to feel the sparks flying
and senses melting into oblivion

~self loathing~

~self loathing~
pain so unimaginable
racing like blood in veins
pounding with every beat

tearing at every fiber
like acid poured on skin
sizzling every drop poured

barriers unknown to the world
built of steal and malice
hatred once self unknown

scares left fading on skin
from fingernails dull and tearing
a long unable to be pushed over the edge

let me die here
in a puddle of my own misery
let my love die as the light has from my eyes

~Twisted path~

~Twisted path~
winding swirling are the emotions
floating in currents unsee
warped and pulled and pushed
who knows these voices hear
no one but can understand
they draw me again to you
i fall every time for the wrong story
cinderella never was real
reality is to harsh for faries and love
oh the twisted path my heart is on

Moralitys story

the wise woman told me
fools rush living

the wise man told me
fools fall in love

the foolish woman told me
of fantastic adventures

the foolish man told me
of passion and fire

i am a fool
who rushed living

i am a fool who
feel for the passions of love

scared is the fool who is hurt
the child whispered in your ear

heartbroken is the the wiseman
who never loved a soul

moral is do not rush living
do love, with passion and fire

live freely but do not hurt
love sparingly so as not to fear

and be happy for these lessons
come at no price but to listen to a story

.... fools rush in... i am a fool... a fool for love.. a fool for life.. a fool in general... i lid to myself for ages saying i was in love whiel i was jjust trying to keep from lossing the first person and only person i thought could love me.... then i fall for this wonderful boy... yes boy in comparison to my age... oo young they said well bah imma fall anyways... i fell alright.. i feel right back into a world f uncertainty, moral dilema, and hurt, hell ya the good was great! but the bad was wosrt and hurt three times more... what too do with myself? huh? oh lets wallow in self pity and escape the world.. thus i did.. not caring who i hurt in the prosses... mainly i hurt myself.. but i also hurt others... i hurt ppl with harsh words adn not being an ear to listen when they needed one.. to wrapped up in my own mess, of my own making... thne it all fell away and life went on... now that boy , oh such a wonderful boy is almost a man (per say) an i find myself thinking.. would they approve now? would it be accepted... would this boy that i broke his heart(or was it just his hopes of dating me?) so long ago? will he have me? so far hes only pushed me farther and farther away... how am i to fix my imstakes if the one perosn that melted the ice on my heart can no longer look me in the eye and send shivers down my spine?? where is the passion, the fire, the excitment... or will i live my life through adn settle for the mundan job and husband hat i do not fully love? who know ...