Once upon a time and happily ever after

This once upon a time is never ending

Forever lasting its been sitting right in front of me

Our story is a decade long broken road

In the beginning we were thoughtless

But we burned our pathway into our hearts

Happily ever after is still far off

Still shadowed by the invisible villains of life

We have survived the worse things and

Time and space have yet to pull us apart

The string that attaches us is knotted but not frayed

Time and space have played their cruel jokes

Now its time to see the story in between

We began long ago but got lost in dreams

Once upon a time need not start over

But begin again at happily ever after

picture is from *Laufoo on deviantart

  the poem is mine.

black and blue

you've held my heart in your grasp for so long
for so much of that time we spent it in denial
now the words are in the open and we are lost
I'm open to your games, except for when they are empty

black and blue that's how you always leave me
not in a physical sense but my heart is hurting
pulsing and bleeding as old scars are reopened
why can't you see the unshod tears I have

letting me go was hard the first time I know
because it took us years to say what we thought was goodbye
and now there is this tiny flame that is overwhelming
terrifying and exhilarating as we figure it all out

black and blue is how my whole being feels
knowing your head rules your whole being
leaves my heart trampled and ready to explode
waiting for the right moment like a bomb ticking away

when the timer goes off our fates will be decided
leaving a limbo of unanswered questions and thoughts
scaring our hearts no matter the outcome
leaving us both black and blue and confused

in the light

when the sun is shining my heart beats
my mouth smiles and my eyes see roses

come dusk as the sun slips to the sea
my heart slows my eyes are blinded

as the rays sparkle and glitter my being is whole
once they are dimmed i shatter amongst the moonlight

I play the part of happy so well they never know
beyond my smile the layers are only darkness

Not able to break free of the patterns
barreling through life singlemindedly

when the sun is shining you think my heart is beating
but is shattered with the night and cannot beat

When you know

everything i say is coming out without my say so
i can't even filter in the words from your mouth
the fears are all that stream through my mind
tonight the tears are falling because of our loss

Losing it all

In the blink of an eye its all gone
the fairytale dream broke into a million peices
leaving behind the husk of a person

driving down a road heading for endless pain
seeing only sunshine and blue skies
feelings hurricanes on the inside

A bright light leads my way now
the new life we made showed me the way
bring from the husk a spark

Tears keep falling into the oceans you created
 slamming everything in the opposite direction
your words can no longer break me down

The spark consumes all the anger and fear and hatred
turing it all into fuel to succeed where I was failing
living in reality and pushing forward

Our little present from heaven reminds me
day in day out that I push forward no matter what
because no matter how much cared it wasn't meant to be

The ocean of tears are drying up
no longer swallowing me whole
instead its release

.....

The emptiness inside me consumes every thought
like a blackhole it sucks every ounce of sunlight away
I smile by forcing my eyes to read what I don't feel
missing a crucial part of my being twice over
Hatred bubbles from my chest at others joy
with everyone elses happiness
This blackness inside of me is suffocating
only one thought is left, sadness
Endlessly the tears pour down my cheeks
leaving trails that speak of my hurt
Nearly every part of me wants this back
bad enough to betray and hurt others
I'll overcome this somehow
i dont know how but i will
for the lost i will fight to remain afloat
of my endless tears

Losing it over nothing

In my own search for who i am
it it when i get lost that i feel the most like me
fumbling and blind to everything
yet seeing it all for the first time
so who am i if i am just lost wondering

feeling my way through out this being with my feet and heart
searching for an answer that I have
yet choose to think there is more too
how can i keep being without knowing who i am

from person to person my existence changes
falling from high to low and shinning to dull without a warning
my person is full of these contradictions
leaving my true self shielded behind all the unseen questions

Life Quote

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. ~William Rogers~ very good quote need to use as theme for life